What Amanda Leong Means

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality. You are confident, self assured, and capable. You are not easily intimidated. You master any and all skills easily. You don't have to work hard for what you want. You make your life out to be exactly how you want it. And you'll knock down anyone who gets in your way! You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people. You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts. You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals. You are balanced, orderly, and organized. You like your ducks in a row. You are powerful and competent, especially in the workplace. People can see you as stubborn and headstrong. You definitely have a dominant personality. You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow. You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily. Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is. You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone. You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together. At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together. You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life. You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you. At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself. You are deeply philosophical and thoughtful. You tend to analyze every aspect of your life. You are intuitive, brilliant, and quite introverted. You value your time alone. Often times, you are grumpy with other people. You don't appreciate them trying to interfere in your affairs.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

WHY???

Sigh... been sleeping with my bible beside me... it's not a bad thing but the reason it is beside me leaves me to ponder what's goin on with me.... i pray hard every night now.... things goin through my mind have the capability of driving me insane... not to mention the emtional tug of my heart... that's another issue to deal with... and that's why my bible is beside me.. i'm hoping to find answers... all the answers in my heart that i'm silently questioning... and it's engulfing me.... really want to talk to GOD directly... wonder if he'll answer all my questions or do i have to wait... i hate waiting... been doin that for 22 years..... one really can get tired of waiting... especially if out of 22 years 20 years was under good behavior yet i question my blessing.... n the only thing my heart wants.... he refuse to give it to me.... it's a thorn in my side... then again... i should get used to it by now... it has always been a thorn at my side.. for freaking 22 years... i've waited... do u hear me LORD? can u see this breaking heart that is about to give up hope? won't show me compassion n pity on me? 22 years... have i not been obedient? Pls LORD... jus show me the answer... jus one answer....

When Will it come to past

Throw away my walls and let's see what we got
A broken girl with broken dreams longing for hope
wipe my smile and look into my eyes
the tears that i cry everynight
when will i learn to grow up
To be among my peers and not above them
stop trying to act like someone who doesn't understand
when all i see is a reflection of myself
how will i start to voice out my thoughts
to start acting like a human being who breaks and cries once in a while
has everything that's happened around me turn me into stone?
am i a living porcelin doll that's hallow inside
i try to search myself over and over again
yet i find no heart
not a single beat that tells me i'm alive
what is this that i'm feeling
could it be death in another form
to live yet die inside?
all i want is to breath
to be alive with hopes and dreams again

Falling into confusion

OK! so FINE !!! i have a crush.... hm... but i feel so confused and so irratated.... i dun understand... why the frustration??? it doesn't make sense... like or dun like... then why do me, myself and i feel so frustrated that i like someone... hm.... it's jus so me... liking someone, chickening out of it and most likely totally ignore that person till this feeling is gone.... am i that insecure? or i'm just scare of committment??? seems like there might be more than this....always giving hot n cold signals... that'll be me... really.. first time i feel like i'm falling into confusion... nvm.... it's jus a crush... lets see how long it will last... but then again.. this frustration??? hm... i need a cold shower now... maybe i'll feel better after that!!!!

A friendship that teaches

As people often say that it's quite hard to have a close friend which is the opposite sex unless there are things about that person that u don't like and vice versa.... in the past year i've made a friend... and this friendship though at times like all friendships faces problems it is still going strong. i want to tell you guys bout how much i really appreciate this friendship and how much it taught me as a person. in this past year this friendship have taught me trust. trust that a person will not harm me, turst that a person will keep his/her promises, trust that whatever that person say is true, trust in the things that they do not tell. trust in the things they do tell and trust that whenever they want to tell they will tell.. but i must admit that this trust is hard. it's hard to not doubt a person when you are so far from them, it's hard to believe in the things that they do not tell hard to not doubt their abilities to be honest with you.. but i learnt to slowly trust.. another thing this friend has taught me is understanding. to understand a persons needs that are different from yours, a persons dreams that are different, a persons pespective that is different, a person as a whole that is different... i learn to be tolerent in understanding and to not demand so much that which a person cannot fulfill... no one can be there everytime you need them.... they are not God, they are only human... and even we ourselves can never always be there for somebody coz bad things come unexpectedly and no one can truly know when they are coming in order to prepare the other person about it..... and so i learn... but these lessons are not easy and i'm still trying to learn them and to apply them fully in my life.... but i'm really truly grateful its because of this friendship that i'm learning and i thank God for this everyday... thank you friend

The PAst

There are things in life that one will not easily forget..... a memorable memory be it sad or happy... today.. as i went out with a friend... i was reminded of one such event... a moment in my life where from that time onwards i started to grew up to become who i am today.... i must admit that this moment it my life was full of happiness in the beginning and it ended very bitter and sad... but it was that such a moment that i will never forget.... it's really been a long time since the last time i thought about it.... till today... but the past is the past and though i will admit that it still brings me much joy and pain whenever i think about it.... i have finally move on and looked into what the future brings forth for me... 2007 was a year of trials... the end of a 2 year mourning period and now 2008 marks a new beginning for me... i've cried my last and learnt from the past and now i'm ready to learn more about myself and to be confident and stand firm on my principals and belief.... i cannot change the past neither do i regreat the decisions i make because i realise that it was through those decisions i made that have shaped me into who and what i am today.... do i still think about the people that was in that memorable past event? i have to admit that it has been less to none.... bout i'm still afraid to face them.... sometimes the greatest fear i have is facing my past... this is something that i will still have to slowly learn.... what is done is done... and we only have to move on.... i'm finally contented....

one more to go!!!!

okok..... last paper to go... i have no idea if i can pass anot but who cares? all has been done and said... and now only can wait.... sigh... hopefully i can make it this time..... so after last paper goin melbourne.... for holiday and also to work la... goin to see my high skool friends which i miss so much... though i also miss my friends in m'sia SUPER LOT!!!!! sigh.... hold on hold on.... soon soon.... missing duckie so much ler.... hehehe and schnoodle too!!!!! okla... back to study wei! i can do it... one more only one more!!! gambateh!!!!